[While Fairiefire was at work, Elvis held a jam session for everyone.]
[Only Sherlock was missing, solving the mysteries of the world, while napping.
I had placed rose bushes around the house and they poke inside. I'll have to move them.]
[The first to share the bed? Elvis and Jack! Did you place your bet there? Me either.]
Elvis: Lisa. I remember you, baby. I'm alive. Did you get remarried?
Barbie: Alright, Barbie, you've got this! Keep up your looks. There are a few guys here you might like and they can't see you all big-assed like that Kim girl, or so plain like Emma. You are the only competition in this house, go and get 'em! [That face!]
[Emma has a little talent in music, though every night at midnight when I take everything out of their inventories, she always have like 4 books when most have 0-1.]
[ Group therapy with Luigi and Elvis.]
Elvis: I remember being married. What happened to my wife? When I died, or, when they thought I died...wait, what happened anyway?
Fairiefire: I don't know, Elvis, but let's discuss what you remember in an individual session and see if we can piece it together. For now, let's talk about something that affects you both: loneliness and how you're dealing with that.
Elvis: I...I don't think I want to talk right now. I will just listen.
Luigi: I wish I could get lonely, but Mario is always there. Mario this and Mario that and Mario is a raccoon or Mario ate a fire flower. What about Luigi? Luigi is lonely, yes, because Mario's shadow makes him cold.
[When in doubt, throw a party. Fairiefire wanted to meet all her coworkers and befriend them, but only knows her boss, who turns out to be a fairy. There were SO many people in the house. They stayed an extra long time.]
Barbie: I...choking! Headphones! Help!
Jack: Get out of the way, I can help her. I'm trained in...well, everything. There ya go. Your headphone cords were wrapped around your neck. How'd you do that anyway?
Barbie: [gag] Thanks. [cough]
[Luigi's cell phone plays the theme to Super Mario Brothers. do-do-do-dada-dada..]
Kim: Hi. I'm Kim. I'm famous.
[Everyone is talking about Jack and Elvis and one of the townies.]
Kim: Uh, excuse me! Don't you know who I am? I'm like E-royalty! You should be honored to be here with me, breathing my air, being on my show. You're all just extras, act right!
Townie: She thinks she's on a show?
Jack: I know, right? Just ignore her.
[Kim storms out.]
Sherlock: Watson, come here. Someone has left a clue. Based on the color of this meatloaf, I'd wager that it has been sitting out for 2 days. What say you, Watson?
Emma: It's Emma. And I just cooked that. It's not been sitting out for days. If you don't like it, make yourself something else. You're supposed to be getting along better, but that was just rude.
Sherlock: I'm a man of science, Watson. I don't cook.
[Did Emma hook up with a townie and has morning sickness or was Sherlock right about that meatloaf being the wrong color?]
Fairiefire: Sherlock, it seems you could be doing a better job of getting along. You're not applying the skills we've been discussing.
Sherlock: It's that Watson. She confounds me! She doesn't even act like a proper sidekick.
Fairiefire: She's not your sidekick and her name is Emma. Everyone is here to do their own thing and progress themselves to be better than they were. You need to worry about making yourself better, Sherlock. How's it coming with that journal you were starting?
Sherlock: I finished it.
Fairiefire: What do you mean you finished it? It was supposed to be a bit of your reflection about each day. You can't "finish" it.
Sherlock: I figured myself out and filled in the dates.
Fairiefire: I think we've done all that's useful for today.
Emma: Finally, a moment of quiet to myself. I don't mind helping everyone out, but I don't feel like that's why I'm here. Wait, what's this? There's little drawings in the margins. These small precise ones must be by Sherlock, but this...is that a giraffe? Those must be by Kim. Ugh. Can't even read to escape these crazies.
Luigi: Maybe I should take the big exit. Maybe it's the only way. Go down that sewer pipe of eternity and be eaten by the devil plant. Maybe I'll come back as a big brother, or a blue-shelled turtle. Those blue ones always kill Player 1... No, no. I should not think badly about my brother. It's not his fault he's so amazing. And Mama would be heartbroken...
Jack: So, you, uh, wanna show me how you got famous?
Kim: [Better pretend I'm not trashy.] I made a sex tape!
[Next in the big bed, Barbie and Elvis. Since their hearts, I haven't seen them flirt or anything, but they're sleeping near one another.]
Kim: I'm famous!
Emma: For what?
Kim: I'm on TV.
Emma: Oh, I was in movies. What shows were you on?
Kim: My show, named after me. You know, The Kim Big Butt Show. C'mon, you have to have seen it, or don't you get E-TV in wherever you're from?
Emma: I don't know. I don't really watch much TV. And I'm from England.
Kim: What movie were you in? Was it a sex movie? I made a sex movie.
Emma: Uh, no. I was in grade school when I started acting.
Kim: Gross. You shouldn't make a sex movie with kids.
Emma: No, it's not like that. I was in the Harry Potter movies. I was Hermoine. That's actually why I'm here. See, people don't seem able to see me as anyone but Hermoine and I want to-
[Kim walks away]
Barbie: I was in movies, too. Not sex movies, either. Like you, movies for kids.
Emma: Really? That's great. So why are you here?
Barbie: People don't see me for who I am either. They think I'm fake.
Emma: You're not as fake as Kim.
Barbie: Who is?
[Our first fire is started by Luigi. I put it out and called the fire department. No one died. Had to replace the stove and one counter.]
Luigi: Oh no! I just tried to make some of my Mama's meatballs!
Firefighter: No, I've never heard of you. Be safe around fire, please. Those boobs look like they'd melt.
Elvis: Fish live in the water, but if you burn the water it makes steam. So then do the fish cook or will they catch on fire?
Firefighter: Are you messing with me?
Kim: Do firefighters make a lot of money?
Emma: You don't have to be on the front page, Luigi. It's enough just to be in the paper! People know and love you just as you are.
Firefighter: She's right. All us younger brothers always pick you to play, even though we know our older brothers would force us to play you anyhow. All 2-sibling relationships are like that.
[The firefighter stayed around like 12 hours, which I thought was really strange.]
[Emma and Barbie appear to be pals now. They're seen eating together and watching TV together.]
Kim: Hey, Elvis. Wanna...work up a sweat with me? I mean: have sex?
Elvis: Girl, you are crazy if you think I would do anything more with you than spank you and send you back to your momma. I like a woman with some class and you're just a silly little girl, with hepatitis, or so I imagine.
[I told you it wouldn't go well for her.]