Emma: Alright. A little peace and quiet. A break from the fans saying "Hermoine, Hermoine!" and failing to understand the real me. I'm so grateful for them, but it's so limiting, as an actor. I'll just be here a few weeks and make the best of it, get some perspective. This place isn't so bad. I wouldn't have gone with the dog pictures in here, but whatever.
Kim: What are these things?
Emma: What things? Did you see this fountain?
Kim: These paper things? They're like scripts, but thicker.
Emma: The books?
Kim: Oh, I've heard of that.
Luigi: How to Win at Video Games? That's the perfect book! I'm going to be Player 1 when I leave here.
Kim: Have you met that guy Jack? He's pretty hot for a white guy.
Luigi: Yes, he is.
Kim: Who are you.
Luigi: I'm Luigi. I'm a plumber. My brother and I own a company together. We also star in video games. You must have heard of me. Luigi's Mansion? With the ghosts? C'mon.
Kim: I'm famous, too.
Luigi: Oh? Good for you. For what?
Jack: Is this like The Bachelor? Where are the roses?
Kim: If I hold one of these book things, maybe he'll think I'm smart.
Elvis: Can they see me?
Barbie: Formal wear in the pool? Of course! This dress is really heavy when it's wet, though, oof!
Sherlock: I have a clue as to who is not very bright.
[Group therapy with Sherlock and Elvis]
Fairiefire: These are the results from your personality tests. You both scored high on ego strength, which is good. Elvis, you think people have false expectations of you - specifically you think people think you're dead, but you're very much alive. And Sherlock, you have some trouble getting along with others. We'll be working on making friends and seeing people as equal.
Sherlock: As equals? Surely, you're kidding.
Elvis: So you can see me?
Kim: I'm not even in this script. There are so many words all together. This doesn't make any sense. Where are my lines? If I don't have any lines, how am I going to know what to do next? [cries] Makeup! Where is my makeup artist?
Barbie: I very nearly drowned, no thanks to you.
Jack: Wouldn't it be cool if you were a ghost? You might make it on Torchwood! Have you seen that show? I star in it. I'm kind of a big deal.
Barbie: You're a big deal? I'm over 50 and look at this body!
Jack: Over 50? Sweetheart, me too, and I can't be killed. What was your favorite era?
Barbie: Hmm, when women got to wearing pants in the 60s. It doubled my wardrobe.
Luigi: I just want to be the star for once.
Emma: I know what you mean. It's great to co-star, but I want to branch out on my own, to headline, like Radcliff did in Equis.
Luigi: I had Luigi's Mansion.
Emma: You're so lucky!
Luigi: Lucky? I've never heard that before. Really? You think...you think I could be a Player 1?
Emma: I think you already are.
Jack: Hey there. What are you doing.
Jack: Oh, well I'll let you be, then. [thinks: I was hoping she was up for a romp.]
Kim: Oh, okay. [thinks: I was hoping he wanted to make out. I hope he thinks I'm smart, now. I can stop pretending to read.]
Jack: I wonder how many Sims could fit in this bed. I'm thinking 6...
Barbie: Elvis, you're one hot hunk of man meat. I love your 50s attitude and attire.
Elvis: Honey, I don't know how to do it any other way. I like an old fashioned girl, myself. There's just something about you I can't put my finger on.
Barbie: You can put your finger on me if you like. Change my outfit, brush my hair, whatever you want.
Fairiefire: A ghost story? Okay. The pharoah rose from his tomb to-
Jack: Yes, The Doctor and I put him back. That was one harrowing adventure. You're telling it wrong, though. Do you want to make out instead?
Faireifire: Alright, let me just change into formal wear.
Jack: And me into something more athletic. Oh, hey, tattoos!
[I don't know why he has tattoos. And this is so inappropriate. But Cap'n Jack would be hard to resist.]
Kim: Jack, where do you expect me to lay down if you took the last bed?
Sherlock: Oh, I think we all have an idea of where he's like you to lay down, dear. Did you see they have a volume on rare tobaccos from India? Fascinating stuff.
Barbie: I'm all dressed up. Want to go in the pool with me?
Jack: You're supposed to take off all your clothes to skinny dip.
Barbie: Are you saying I look fat? [runs off crying]
Luigi: Emma really gave me confidence to try new things and be somebody. I'm going to paint. Maybe I'll be Luigi the painter instead of Luigi the plumber. I don't even like plumbing! I only went to trade school with Mario because Mama told me I should.
[For his first painting with no skill points, Luigi made a landscape and it was actually really good, way better than some of the abstract crap my level 4-5 fairy was doing.]
Emma: I changed my mind. They're making me crazy. I just wanted a little break. I thought it would be calm and I could relax, but they're always doing strange things and there's just too many people. I took a run to clear my head and now I know what I need to do. I need to find those forms I signed and get back to my life. Maybe they got tossed out? Why is there no office in this place? Is this even a real asylum?
Barbie: No more chairs? No problem. The toilet is "the throne". I'll just eat my burnt, whatever this is, in here. The food here is terrible. I'll just get some cardio in after lunch so I can stay trim!
Kim: So, Luigi, are you famous? Jack and I are both on TV.
Luigi: Oh, I'm on lots of TVs. Also, I do the plumbing.
Jack: Oh, I'm also the Face of Boe.
Kim: You guys are weird. Do you want to have a threesome?
Luigi: What is that? Like in Mario Party where we all play together?
Jack: Sort of. But I go first.
Luigi: No, I don't want to be Player 2 anymore! [walks off in a huff]
Emma: I'm from across the pond, as is Sherlock, here.
Elvis: I'm from Graceland, Tennessee. It's the seat of country music, though my style was really a combination of early rock that was mostly stolen from soul and r&b musicians that couldn't afford good attorneys, haha.
Kim: I don't know why I have to do this. I'm likely to break a nail. I already walked around in my most formal tight dress, why should I have to pretend to clean on camera, too?
Jack: Camera? Oh, uh, yeah, just, uh, keep pretending to clean. The stove, too. The audience will love it. And bend a little more at the waist while you do; show off your assets.
[Elvis plays a bit for everyone]
Elvis: You just have to be confident in yourself. Take a risk.
Luigi: You make it sound so easy.
Sherlock: Have you detected the traces of poison in this food, my dear Watson?
Emma: I'm sorry, did you say you poisoned my food? And my name is Emma.
Sherlock: Indeed, Watson. Not to worry, I have the antidote. But first see if you can identify the poison. What do you notice?
Emma: I hate you.
[Look at that lip-bite Sherlock's doing. It was so creepy, I had to add the dialogue. Everything's an experiment to him, anyhow.]
Fairiefire: There you are. Why are you in outdoor gear?
Barbie: Why are you in formal wear?
Fairiefire: I...Okay, never mind. Barbie, why do you think you're here?
Barbie: I hate children. They're always touching me.
Fairiefire: Tell me a time children were touching you and how you responded.
Barbie: Did you see my movie Barbie Snowboarder? No? Barbie's Adventure? No? Seriously, do you never watch movies? Sometimes, when I'm at the mall, children just walk up and grab my hat or pull my hair and I just think they should ask first.
Fairiefire: We can get you clearer with your boundaries so you're aware before they get close enough and you can block those actions.
Barbie: Really? Yeah, that'd be good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to change my outfit again.
Kim: Do you like these mud pies? I made them just for you.
Elvis: This is mud? I put marshmallow fluff on everything, so I didn't even notice.
Kim: Yeah, I put some in the pool and the tub, too. Everyone's skin is going to glow!
Elvis, but in the food? Mud isn't food.
Kim: What is food then? I've never had to do anything for myself.
Elvis: How are you going to land a husband with no cooking skills, miss?
Kim: I've had 2 husbands already! I hope to have even more.
Kim: I was going to clean up, but I don't feel like it anymore. I'm just going to throw this bag of laundry on the floor. Move.
Elvis: The hamper is right here. You could just say "excuse me" and we'd have moved.
Sherlock: She is just clueless.
Fairiefire: Work lets me escape! I love that my job is at a park. It gives me a happy moodlet to be there in nature and there's sometimes mushrooms or apples to pick. I even saw a deer when I interviewed. Plenty of people hang out there, too, so I can meet new people. This uniform doesn't seem to make sense, though. My boss wears spangles and layers. I think I should be more like a gypsy, but this is what she said to wear.
[First day on the job, as a mystic. There was a little trouble because I didn't know how to start the career and had to look it up, and the starter town I chose didn't have the gypsy camp so I had to move it to the town and whatever, but kind of a pain. Put me back a couple of days.]