Thrones 1

Wherein 6 days are played out - 3 normal, 3 more ending in our first death.

Robin: When I'm king, I'll make homework against royal decree. Any teacher who assigns it will fly to her death out the moon door. I'll make them fly; I'll make them all fly!

Oberyn is a daredevil and enjoys playing with fire.

Loras: I hope they don't try to arrange a marriage for me. I'm not into that tied down life. Confirmed bachelor.

Robb: I want to get married right away. My family is very traditional. Whomever they choose for me should be sufficient.

Danerys: My marriage is arranged, as well, Robb. But he shall be my sun and stars. 

Loras: The rightful heir should have large feet. Let's have a contest. Oh, mine are much bigger!

Theon: This statue looks nothing like the Drowned God. There's no seaweed for hair. It's adorable instead of terrifying. Who could live their lives in service to this? It looks as if it's playing with that ship in the tub instead of trying to reclaim it's crew in his eternal service. Disgraceful.

[Sorry, Theon. I had to work with what was available.]

Robin: This game is awful. When you die, you simply come back to life!

Loras: Uh, it's just a game. Lighten up, kid.

Robb: Anyone for billiards? Anyone...?

[The mirror behind him I bought before it crashed, but chose a different one after the reload. I also added a bunch more lighting as these images are too dark.]

Theon: I'm reading about charisma. You?

Joffrey: I'm making a list of my enemies. What is the proper spelling of your name?

Robin: Does Casterly Rock have a moon door?

Joffrey: No.

Robin: Then what do you have?

Joffrey: All the money.

Robb: Okay, break it up, you two. Let's go fishing, huh? What'da'ya say? Whoo, fun!

Joffrey: Is this guy serious? What's he, part of the Big Brothers program? I was going to have a soak.

Robb: Yeah, fun! Let's have a contest to see who can catch the biggest fish.

Robin: Uh...well...This one's kind of small.

Joffrey: What in the seven kingdoms is that?

Robb: A toad. 

Joffrey: I think there's something wrong with the water. That toad is as big as your torso!

[Seriously. WTF? Nightmare fuel.]

Joffrey: This game is stupid.

Danerys: Mapquest, huh? Looks like Astapor is nice this time of year. Maybe I'll set up camp there for a couple of years. Slavery is their major export? Shameful!

Edmure: You know, I'm going to win this thing, Loras. The house is mine. 

Loras: Whatever. Best of luck, old man.

Theon: Ow, that's sharp. I paid the iron price for this salad!

Edmure: I heard her family was filthy rich.

Danerys: No, it was all a ruse. They said she was worth her weight in emeralds! Said it's the Emerald Isle because they mine gems there. So stupid, they fell for it.

Robb: Danerys is so dumb. It was sapphires, not emeralds. Who ever heard of the Emerald Isles? Stupid girl. She'll never rule an empire.

Robin: Monsters? I'll make you fly! You better hide.

Joffrey: Wearing your shoes in the tub shows you have so much wealth that you can do whatever you want.

[Everyone got jobs. I let them pick from their rolled wants and just got them those jobs. Even Joffrey wanted an after school job. I'm giving Robin absolutely everything I can that he rolls up, since he's so spoiled.]

[Theon has some glitch where his hair and clothes get messed up when he goes to work. So does Robb. Annoying.]

Theon: Ugh, I hate this thing. So noisy, dishwasher!

Robb: This outfit change thing we have is kind of like a curse, huh?

Joffrey: Homework is so stupid. Can't I have my whipping boy do it for me?

Robin: Quiet while I'm concentrating or I'll make you fly.

[Theon appropriated Danerys's dragon egg. I made him put it back. He keeps "accidentally" ending up with it.]

Edmure: You know, I never had any children. Shame, they bring such joy.

Robin: Why are you sitting here? Go away.

Theon: I remember, when I was just a little kid, how the Starks captured me as ransom. My father never sent for me. Why, father? Why didn't you save me? All this time... 

[Poor misunderstood Theon.]

Robb: I'm going to be king. I am rightful heir. I am smart and just and gentle, like a king should be. Just 10 more times...

Oberyn: None of my daughters have emailed me. Those rotten sand snakes are so involved in their own doings. Who knows what trouble they're up to?

Robin: This is the sky, where everyone falls and falls and screams until it sounds like a whisper.

Robin: Ugh, what died? 

Edmure: Hey, get out!

[Robin seriously then asked Edmure to move out of the house! Who has ever taken a dump that bad?] 

Robin: Danerys, I have to use your bathroom. Edmure destroyed ours.

Danerys: Westeros...

[This just made me laugh. Mr. Grumpy all sleepy and in his jammies with his penguin bed.]

Danerys: I will visit Astapor, Yunkai, Quarth...

Loras: Fly back to his arms...

Robb: If it must be war, then it must... 

Theon: I'll win it all, father...

Oberyn: Tact, diplomacy, and maybe a little poison...

Edmure: Win the house, for father, for Cat...

Robin: You can see all the stars, and the moon, and the moon door...

Joffrey: And they will write songs honoring my name and my deeds. King Joffrey the Valiant...

Edmure: Good morning, Westeros. I shall be fair with you.

[Every morning he wakes up and looks at the sunrise. Never seen a sim do that before.]

Joffrey: I have a mastermind plot. We should form an alliance.

Robin: What's that?

Joffrey: We'll be partners. Make things happen, just not to us.

Robin: Oh, like poison someone's food?

Joffrey: Shh!

 Joffrey: Off to my first day at the mausoleum. I'm going to do such wicked things to the dead!

 [Brooding Edmure sitting around thinking about Poe.]

Oberyn: Robin, you should be sitting at the kid's table. This is where the adults eat.

Robin: I do what I want, old man.

Edmure: What's the harm, Oberyn?

Oberyn: No respect! Why my daughters would never...

Loras: And this is what a man looks like, Joffrey. Eat your Wheaties and maybe some day you'll get muscles, too. Maybe even ride in a tournament.

Joffrey: I'm out of here.

Theon: Hey, little buddy. Want to be my friend? My father would be so impressed!

Danerys: There's my dragon! Where were you?

[Hail on the kraken.]

Joffrey: Well, you're a girl so you must want to marry me, but you have to ask permission. Oh, right, like you really just wanted to know what pages the homework is on. Sure, whatever.

Robb: You just stay away from Theon. He's my friend but...

 Oberyn: A promotion! Fantastic...

[Dreaming about sleeping, oh, Theon.]

Robb: I accept the rights and responsibilities of king and promise...

Loras: You don't love her, do you? Say you don't. I know you have to marry...

Danerys: I am the mother of the free world and you are all my children...

Edmure: A boy? Of my own? But who are you...

Robin: I'll kill them all, under the flags of the seven kingdoms, so many moon doors...

Joffrey: My bride, of course we'll live at Casterly Rock, and you can wake with the sun each morning...

Robb: What are you reading?

Danerys: Gardening tips.
Robb: Mind if I watch?

Danerys: I asked Theon to help be he said "We do not sow!" and huffed off.

Robin: School is dumb so I didn't go today. I'm painting!

Robin: I saw him under my bed! I'm going to watch his pink fur fly off as I kill him.

Joffrey: This is my friend from school, Danerys, he doesn't want to talk to you. You're so annoying. Go away. He wants to hear how amazing I am.

Robb: What's what? Who are you?

Zombie: Bite! ...Stay.

Robb: I'm rather tired. Is this going to take long? I was going to bed. My you shamble slowly!

Zombie: Wait. Bite. Coming.

[This was so pathetic! He'd walk away, then stop, turn back. She'd shamble over, stop, prepare to bite, both would yawn. Worst attack ever.]

Zombie: Knock knock.

Joffrey's friend: Who are you? 

Zombie: Zombie. Bite?

Joffrey's friend: No thanks. I'm, uh, not letting you in, either.

[The zombies stood around all night.]

Theon: Prisoners have to stay in cages. Cages have bugs. I must never be caught...

Robb: Dream within a dream within a dream within a dream, Inception... 

Joffrey: I'll be so fit every noble woman will throw herself at my feet...

Robin: I don't want my baba, I want the titi, Mommy...

Loras: You can't make me marry, father...

Oberyn: Home, in the desert, the warm air and sunshine...

Edmure: The bodies, the flux, the bugs buzzing around...

Danerys: Mmm, Loras, yes...

[Loras is...not into her kind.]

Robb: I feel just awful. WebMD says I have 8 kinds of cancer plus a venereal disease. I must be fine, then.

[Dance party!]

[Theon got invited to a pool party and I thought these 2 were naked, but they have beige suits on. I wondered what sort of wicked party this was. Theon is not lucky!]

Robin: Theon, can kittens fly?

Theon: What? No! Time to get you home.

Robb: Ruling so many areas, so much to do...

Oberyn: My girls, wild children, playing in the pools as babes...

Joffrey: EA isn't that bad of a company, not so bad...

Danerys: And all shall worship me and lavish me with praise of my beauty...

Loras: Just dump the body in the trash and get back to his waiting arms...

Edmure: If I'm not married yet, why bother? What good could come of...

Robin: Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Theon: And I will dominate the entire world. My father will be so proud before he bows before me...

 Robin: Hehehehe!

Joffrey: Shut up, idiot.

Robb: Oh god I feel so-

[Falls down dead.]

 [Yes, I rolled an 8-sided die. The numbers are as listed in the challenge itself. I rolled a 1, so Robb had to go. I've rolled the next one, but of course the game froze after a day of playing it, so another time. Plus, this was a lot to blog.]