Saturday, April 19, 2014

Klepto Challenge 01

The challenge for Klepto King (and the name of this character as I was feeling truly uninspired at creation) can be found HERE. Short version: never work, never buy anything, steal everything and accumulate wealth by age 90 days.

I made him teal in case he procreates. I want to see his kids around town. 

KK's features are: evil, kleptomaniac, mooch, schmoozer, and friendly. He loves mac'n'cheese (because he's a liquid gold digger, haha) and bought this unfurnished Sunset Valley home, the Monochrome, per the challenge rules. I hope you dislike him - I'll be writing him as a dude-bro.

His LTW is to become Master Thief, but he's not allowed to work. The challenge rules could use a little revamping, I think. Thus, he'll never get perma-plat. Also, there's nothing in the rules about catching bugs/animals, picking wildflowers, selling seeds, and several missing elements, so I'm exploiting that as I come across things, but not going out of my way for them. It does say that he can't plant, so I'm not doing that - we do not sow (go Team Greyjoy!)

KK decided to pop off to the gym (though I told him to poke around the criminal building) and instantly was smitten with this girl out front. He mooched a small amount of money off her and did some flirting.

"Got anything to eat?" "Oh, KK, I do. Take my juice box. I was going to have it after my workout, but if you're hungry, you can have it." "Cool. Later. Ugh, pear, gross."

"Hey, buddy. Got a couple of buck I could have? I need to get a soda. I got pear juice taste in my mouth, you know?" "Uh, I just have a dollar." "Okay, I'll take that. What's your name? No, never mind. I'm just gonna call you Buddy." "My name. Oh, a nickname? Are we friends now?" "Sure, Buddy. I'll even come over your house sometimes." "I never had a friend before!" [I swear this guy is retarded. You'll see.]

"Remember we met at the gym - you were working out and I was watching you? Wanna suck face?" "What about that guy?" "I don't wanna make out with that guy, baby." "Oh, okay." [Really?!?]

"You never seen a guy eat cereal in the rain that some girl had in her pocket? Keep your eyes to yourself or you'll be sorry." "I was just going to make conversation." "Well, who asked you to? Mind your business, gramps."

"Hey, my benefactor from the gym steps, Pear Girl. What's up, baby?" "Oh, I was just getting my mail. What are you doing here?" "I want to come in and hang out. You cool with that?" "Uh, I guess, sure." [Sims sure are gullible.]

Tonight's haul: 2 ceiling lamps and a table lamp. Afraid of the dark KK? Steal a bed! "Nah, I do what I do."

Well, you do what you do and you get to sleep on the park bench. "It's cool. I like it here. A street light right above me, you feel me? Safe and sound."

 "I'm in a bad mood. I think I'll kick some flamingos. Oh, that's the stuff! Yeah."

"Let's kiss, KK." "Whoa, no. Hey, Buddy, you're, uh, not my type. This guy, right, grammy? Sheesh." "But I thought you were my friend?" "Yeah, friend, not girlfriend. I'm not going to kiss you, Buddy. I don't kiss...boys."

[Look at grammy, she's like "I know, he's full on retarded, right? That stupid hat."]

Today's haul: curtains, an oil lamp, and a chair. No bed, still. More sleeping in the park. Idiot.

"Pear Girl, hey girl. I like your house." "Thanks. I work long hours but I get to decorate how I like it. Just me and my dog." "Yeah, yeah, whatever you just said. I could spend the night?" "No, I have to work soon. I work long hours, like I said." "Yeah, what you said. You take a nap and I'll see myself out."

Tonight's haul: a streetlamp (from outside Pear Girl's house when she booted him for napping in the spare bed), a chair, and 2 fireworks from the Summer Festival in the park where he spent the night.

"Hey, Pear Girl, I'll make us some mac'n'cheese before you go to work, okay? It's my favorite." "Thanks. But I'm off tonight." "Yeah. But I got somewhere to be, too."

He visits a 2 random households and the game lets him steal from both. Tonight's haul: a chair, 2 lamps, a sconce, and a toddler's xylophone. OMG, dude, you're killin' me.

Pear Girl was too tired to make out with KK and he feels the injustice of his life: sleeping on the floor while the dog is comfy on the couch. It's a hard life.

KK is napping in Pear Girl's spare bed. She let him spend the night, finally. He spontaneously kicked the dog off the couch before going to lay down in the spare bed and I laughed out loud!

"Hi, KK. I just came over to say hello. I'm married and just a tease. If you flirt with me, I'll get mad, but here I am anyhow." "Yeah, Rich Lady, I like your swag. You got some money I could hold?" "Oh, money I've got. Here, have this." "Yeah, good. You wanna make me pay for that?" "KK, you have nothing to offer me. I'll just hang around awhile for no reason and keep talking to you so you can't eat." "Bitch, get outta my house. It's mac'n'cheese time. I got leftovers from the other day. Hey, but come back later with more money, sweet."

Today's haul: a painting and a love seat. Finally, somewhere to nap! He got kicked out before he could swipe a 3rd item from that house.

Next haul: 2 curtains. Ugh!

[This is the girl he kissed in the park. Apparently, she's been turned.] "Damn, girl, when we made that phone date, you weren't all snarlin' and loping when you walked. And why'd you stop shaving your legs? Ugh, furrier than me!" "You don't think I'm pretty anymore, KK? Growl." "Uh, no, baby, you're fine as always, but, uh, things are different and you gotta tell a man when you make a change."

"Rub my belly, KK." "Uh, whatever you're into, baby. Hey, can I come over to your place?"

Tonight's haul: a poster, a set of paintings, and an alarm clock. To...wake him from his bed? This guy...

"What do you mean that's all for now? It was just getting interesting." Actually, no, not for me. You're boring me so far. You haven't even had one whoohoo. "Damn, gods, give a dude a break and let me get my swerve on in my own time." Fine. But I want to see teal babies in the neighborhood next time I check on you. "Ugh, fine. Stop sending me to hang out with retarded guys, then." Oh, c'mon, you're his only friend. "I know. He's alright, but still..."

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